The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When issues emerge, those who fall into my website the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but Related Site they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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